As my network knows by now, I keep up to date with #journorequests – Journalist requests – on Twitter. Through this practice I have gained exposure for business clients with industry bloggers, and local and national printed press.
#Journorequests are a method journalists use to find ‘real life’ examples on which to base their features, or to get quotes to substantiate their writing.
You will have seen from my blog that my own published stories have been personal ones. And so I hesitated in sharing another one with you.
Maybe you’ve you had enough of me by now?
Maybe you’re uncomfortable with such personal revelations?
Hasn’t she got over it yet?
Then I remembered the messages I have received from strangers since reading these magazine articles. I’ve been contacted by men and women who have had similar experiences.
More important to me were the messages from those still going through it, who found it encouraging to read my story and who told me it gave them hope that the nightmare does end, and that life is great ‘on the other side’.
So here it is. I was recently asked to comment about ‘micro-cheating’.
How do we define ‘cheating’ in this technological age?
My answer was ‘anything you wouldn’t want your partner to know about’.
In my case, my husband had an array of secret ‘friends’ that I feel undermined my own self-esteem, my trust in him, and eventually the marriage. Some he just messaged, some he met with.
In retrospect I know that some of these relationships moved from ‘micro-cheating’ to old fashioned ‘cheating’. I was so undermined and so low in self-esteem and self-respect that by the time I found out about the latest active affair in 2013 I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t think I could manage without him. I had believed every lovely thing he told me while he tried to keep both parts of his life going.
One of these women has openly bragged on social media that they were ‘micro cheating’ for 11 years from 2002… my now ex-husband and I only married after 5 years together in December 2001.
She didn’t call it ‘micro cheating’ of course. She made it all sound rather more harmless and romantic.
And in answer to my own question ‘Hasn’t she got over it yet?’ I say ‘Hell, yeah, I’ve been liberated!’
But if you are in the same position I was, please don’t feel ashamed. Please learn from my example.
I have highlighted my contribution to this article in Look Magazine, 18 April 2016.